ABOUT US - WOOD 'N STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
Max Tiger Wood startled those waiting at the first tee today when he announced the Kogarah Gold Cup would be his final tournament before entering the priesthood. He cited the ESG&EC's lack of moral leadership, rooming with Big Jack Daley on his first World Series tour, our worship of false idols (e.g. Don Lane and Biff Malibu), his continued frustration with the underachieving St.George Illawarra Dragons and a profound interest in Anglican theological fashion as the main reasons behind his imminent departure.
He also confirmed that travelling to and from St.George Illawarra games with the wildly flamboyant and gregarious Saints supporter, Froggy Smith, has caused him to ponder on the emptiness and shallowness of his own existence. On reflection, he agreed that the totality of these experiences had probably made him susceptible to the overtures of the fringe religious group.
The response from the ESG&EC was swift and uncompromising. Announcing a revamped New Members Committee with sweeping powers of discovery, Club President Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson said, "I apologise to the membership for this entirely unexpected breach of standards. With our new vetting process in place, prospective members with morals and/or religious tendencies will be weeded out well before obtaining a playing ticket."
