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Earlwood, June 16, 2016. The club is trying to lock in dates for our next two tournaments - this year's Match Play and 2017's World Series.
The Match Play format will be the same as the last few years (8 through from QD and the tournament played over 3 consecutive Sundays) but we are looking at the possibility of starting earlier and having QD either the last Sunday in October or the first Sunday in November. These weekends are the height of Melbourne spring racing so if people are venturing to the southern capital or are otherwise busy, please let Per-Ulrik know your schedule.
As for the World Series, Shelly Beach wasn't available the week we toured this year but we are endeavouring to ensure it will be in 2017. President Love has spoken with their pro and (Fridays) May 5 and 12 are already taken and he has suggested we book the 19th. Unless there's a number of players unavailable that week, that's the date we'll work towards.
Regular tournament participants who have conflicts with these dates should advise our Director of Communications by the end of the month.
Croydon, May 8, 2016. President Love has released the club's latest audited post-tournament accounts.
Balance Pre World Series - $4024.50
Revenue - $9310 (entry fees and tardiness fines)
Expenses - $8864 (golf courses 4528, prizemoney 1500, shirts 1000, hospitality 943, golf balls, ball markers, hat clips, lanyards and ids 633, betting vouchers 200 and trophy 60)
Tournament Profit - $446
Balance Post World Series - $4470.50
Davidson Love III
Club President & Auditor
The Entrance, May 7 2016. At his 26th attempt, Soldier Montgomerie finally added his name to the prestigious World Series of Golf trophy. The canny Scot broke through for a well-deserved victory on the back of four ultra consistent rounds - a win and a fourth in the teams events and a win and a second at the individual stroke and stableford.
The runner-up, Central Coast legend Trent Strange, partially realised his enormous potential after overhauling his pre-tournament preparation and back office support staff. Trent's entourage now includes a golf mentor (Kipper Parnevik), a life coach (Sir Dick Flado) and a personal svengali (Moose Dank - a deregistered pharmacist and self-proclaimed sports scientist).
Grantief Goosen took third place despite incurring significant financial penalties, along with his travelling companion Paulking Harrington, for his tournament tardiness.
The World Series of Euchre is still being played after tournament commissar, Blue "6 Card" Sheedy, decreed all matches be played as "best of 17". The final, normally played on Wednesday night, now looks like it will be played Monday morning.
Marrickville, April 21, 2016. Golfing traditionalists were aghast when the R&A Marrickville announced sweeping changes to the course's longstanding stroke index.
The new index was forced on the conservative bastion by powerful and unchecked interests associated with the Earlwood Social Golf & Euchre Club. "They didn't actually put a gun to our head but it wasn't far from it," said the new R&A CEO Mr Martin Slumbers. "I was visited by Mr. Big Jack Daley, a most unpleasant ruffian who told me he operated with the full authority of Davidson Love III, the ESG&EC President and Auditor.
"Mr Daley suggested I accompany him on a walk across the new bridge near the renovated first tee. At it's midpoint, metres above the surging tidal flow of the mighty Cooks River, he grabbed me by the ankles and slung me over the safety railings. Whilst I dangled there in absolute terror, he told me in his rather indifferent manner the interests he represented would like the stroke index on 12 holes to be changed forthwith or he'd let me swim with the little fishies. It was an offer I couldn't refuse."
The new stroke index can be viewed on this website's Match Play Format page.
October 21 - Ford Funk def. Sergio Grasscia 2 up in the Championship Match.
Back row - Java Haas, Tiger Wood, Ford Funk, Sergio Grasscia, Hunter Meehan and Soldier Montgomerie.
Middle row - Karrie White, Dick Faldo, Jose-Mumma Olazabal, Shigeki Moroneyama, Costantino Blocker, Ken Crenshaw, Davidson Love, Vijay Field, Notah Kelly, Seve Hemosteros and Tubby Waldorf.
Front row - Danny White Shark, JPY Hayes, Garry Mize, Bluey Dunk (and children) and Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson.
17 of the 22 members pictured are still swinging a club at our major tournaments.