CLUB FOLKLORE

DAVIDSON LOVE IN TOURNAMENT TRIPLE TREAT

October 24 Marrickville.

The Holy Grail of Golf, four majors in a decade, appears at the mercy of the Croydon super golfer, Davidson Love III.  The young shark mannequin claimed his 3rd WS Cocks Plate Spring Match Play Championship in 6 years today with a scintillating display, combining powerful driving with a deft touch around the greens.  Love, after a perfect front nine on The Royal and Ancient Marrickville links course, was never in trouble against an ineffective and out of sorts Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson.

In presenting the winner with his blue jacket with white pinstripes, club handicapper, Tubby Waldorf, said, "This jacket is made out of finest Waldorf family tartan and it gives me great pleasure to present it to you.  May you continue to bring home the bacon in future years."  A gregarious Davidson said, "I've always felt confident about winning this major, even when I was a golfing nobody.  Putting on the Waldorf tartan is a real buzz, a part of the grand tradition of this event and, let's be honest, it gives me a walk up start if I want to take up a butchery apprenticeship.  From the moment this years draw was announced I've had a horn thinking about my chances."  Mindful of further embarrassing his family, Davidson moved on to thank them, his supporters and tournament sponsors, and promised to defend his title next year.

The runner-up, Fatcatsson, was presented with a sleeveless T-shirt in the Cavey Pavin family tartan – white with a large yellow L printed on front and back – by Club President, Java Haas.  Although conceding he was clearly outplayed by a focused and experienced opponent, the runner-up muttered darkly about an incident on the first tee.  "I got stung and it wasn't by a bee."  Urged to elaborate, the despondent Per-Ulrik said, "He psyched me out.  He won the toss, shook my hand and whispered in my ear, 'Ever been this close in a major Ohio Fatboy?  Your grip feels as slippery as a walrus!'  Well that was it, I just turned to jelly."  Asked about the personal nature of the sledge Davidson responded, "Rubbish.  Absolute rubbish.  It's not part of my game.  I just wished him all the best and happened to mention he reminded me of a young Tack Nicklaus, or possibly an older Craig Stadler.  He must have misunderstood the compliment.  Anyway, from what I observed today, losing a few pounds wouldn't do him any harm."