2011 TOURNAMENT
STRONG FIELD LIKELY
2010 Championship.
Karrie White, teeing off at the 13th,
unlucky for some.
2010 Championship.
The ESG&EC's revered elder statesman and
reviled bookmaker, Tack Nicklaus, enjoying
a beer and a profit on the back 9.
2007 Championship.
Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson and Kipper Parnevik
embrace at the first before hostilities begin.
2007 Championship.
Kipper Parnevik off the tee at the 3rd hole.
2007 Championship.
Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson putting at the 3rd hole.
2007 Championship.
Kipper Parnevik putting at the 3rd hole.
2007 Championship.
"Winners are grinners."
Kipper Parnevik collects his cheque.
2007 Championship.
Golfing legend Tack Nicklaus
offers some pearls of wisdom
to those at the presentation.
"LORD LUCAN" RETURNS
FOR WORLD SERIES XXIV
Earlwood, April 2012. Big Jack Daley, the ESG&EC's own Lord Lucan, has applied to return to tournament play at this year's World Series. Daley last played on the Central Coast in 2005 and, in the interim, many wild rumours surfaced to explain his absence.
As part of the club's due diligence, Daley denied that he 1. no longer drank Resch's draught, 2. played a part in rehabilitating Tiger Wood, and 3. had undergone gender reassignment surgery in Samoa.
ESG&EC President Davidson Love said Daley had been very candid in his responses. "Jack acknowledged that he'd been in a very dark place when he went to Samoa. It was very fortunate, now that he's sought readmittance to the tour, that their Medicare system could not afford to remove his enormous genitalia - the operation would have blown the island's health budget for the entire year."
DAILY TELE LAUNCHES
TACK ATTACK
Burwood, March 2012. Respected ESG&EC member and solicitor, Tack Nicklaus, was the subject of a scathing attack by the Murdoch sports journalist, Andrew Webster. Mr Webster claimed that the words used by Nicklaus, in the defence of his client, Robert Lui Stevenson, in Burwood Court " .. made you want to vomit."
Colleagues and friends of Nicklaus were quick to take up the theme. Lady Morisset, a prominent member of Lake Macquarie high society, states, "When I first cohabitated with Tack, everyday I woke up and looked at him I just wanted to heave. The nausea fades with time but it really never goes away."
Tack's World Series roomie, Blue Sheedy, supports Lady M's theory. "I've got a strong stomach but it took 6 tours for that crook feeling, when you look at him in the morning, to fade."
ENTRY FEE AND
ACCOMMODATION COSTS
FOR 2012 WORLD SERIES
The tournament budget for this May's World Series XXIV has been unveiled by President Love.
The entry fee is $350 which includes all green fees, carts for all courses except Shelley Beach, bistro lunch at Wyong, shirts & hats, golf and euchre prize money, trophy, presentation lunch and drinks at Shelley Beach.
For those staying at the Costa Plenti penthouses, the 5 star accommodation for the week will set you back a modest $350.
Players are requested to send their dues directly to President Love's Cayman Island account.
SYNDICATE FAMILY DAY
AT CALLALLIN LODGE
Luddenham, January 2012. Team Callaughan graciously hosted a tour of Callallin Lodge for Smoke Da Greyhound syndicate members and their families. Guests were given VIP access to all areas, even spending time getting sneezed on by the "kennel" pony.
At days end, the Callaughan's were surprised to be awarded accreditation standard Canine ISO 00001, the ESG&EC's highest standard available for kennels. The accreditation recognises quality in accommodation, feed, spatial awareness, animal handling and swimming pools.
Video clips of the day can be viewed from the New Pups area of the web site.
NRL & AFL TIPPING
COMPETITIONS NEED YOU!
Earlwood, January 2012. Tipsters of all skill levels, especially patsies, are invited to participate in the ESG&EC's 2012 tipping competitions.
As well as the regular NRL competition, this year the club is introducing an AFL competition for people with an alternative lifestyle. Both competitions carry an $80 entry fee which must be paid prior to the start of the respective seasons - NRL March 1st and AFL a few weeks later, March 29th.
Detailed rules and guidelines pages can be viewed in the NRL and AFL areas of this web site. Profits go to assisting the club's many underachieving golf and euchre players.
CHAMPION GREYHOUND
PUPS FOR SALE
Earlwood, December 2011. Join in Earlwood's most successful Ponzi scheme (est. 1995) by purchasing a pup from the ESG&EC affiliated Smoke Da Greyhond Syndicate.
The surviving 9 dog litter is by Dyna Lachlan out of Smoke Da Tubby and can be viewed at the Callallin Lodge kennels, Luddenham. Dyna Lachlan ia a multiple Group 1 winner and "Tubby" is a Wentworth Park winner.
The asking price is a modest $2400 and all enquiries can be directed to the syndicate manager and accredited Ponzi Master, Notah Kelly III.
MATCH PLAY TITLE STOLEN
BY BANKSTOWN BOVVER BOY
Marrickville, November 2011. The 2011 Match Play Champion is Henney Stenson. He defeated Tubby Waldorf 3 & 1 in front of a healthy and distinctly pro-Tubby crowd.
ESG&EC officials were forced to physically defend themselves from an angry membership after Stenson's victory erased an unwritten rule from the club's statutes. The resignation of long-time handicapper, Professor Dick Shearman, did little to appease the blood lust of enraged spectators.
The mob were finally placated when President Love commissioned the Fatcatsson Review to look at the ESG&EC business model. The findings of the review can be read in the folklore area of the club's web site.
SMOKE DA TUBBY'S
LITTER OF 10
Luddenham, October 2011. The ESG&EC's Smoke Da greyhound syndicate is pleased to announce that our little champion, Smoke Da Tubby, gave birth to 10 pups over the weekend.
The brood of 3 dogs and 7 bitches was sired by Dyna Lachlan which raced 47 times for 25 wins (two Group ones and metropolitan victories at Angle Park, Sandown, Wentworth Park and Albion Park) and 11 placings.
A visit to the Callaughan kennel is being organised to say "hello" to the children and "well done" to mum.
The ESG&EC's Comite d'Organisation Des Jeux De Printemps Competition has issued over 30 invitations to eligible players for the 23rd Championship.
Peard Fulke, the defending champion, headlines the select international field of TC Choi, Kipper Parnevik, Seve Hemosteros, Garry Mize, Henney Stenson, Bluey Dunk, Karrie White, Kenny Crenshaw, Java Haas, Dick Faldo, Per-Ulrik Fatcatsson, Ford Funk, Edwardo Romero, Davidson Love III, Soldier Montgomerie, Cavey Pavin, Hunter Meehan, Ralphy McIlroy, Grantief Goosen, Boo Boo Weekley, Trent Strange, Danny White Shark, Tack Nicklaus, Hale Irving, Bubba Booth, Shigeki Moroneyama, Big Jack Daley, Costantino Blocker, Notah Kelly III and Tubby Waldorf.
FORMAT, PLAYING DATES & TIMES
The tournament is a handicap match play event and, with the possible exception of the semi-finals, competitors must walk the course and observe the Comite d'Organisation's nominated times and dates for The Championship.
All Sundays have a tee time of 12 noon. The stableford qualifying round will be held on Sunday, October 16, and players must report to the starter 30 minutes before tee-off, a schooner and $70 in hand. Prizemoney will be announced once final numbers are confirmed.
The 16 top scorers will progress to the match play rounds which commence on Sunday, November 13, and conclude with the Championship Match on Sunday, November 27.
The semi-final matches are set down for the Friday afternoon prior to the final unless both players and President Love III (Ret.) agree to a change. With that one exception, competitors are not permitted to vary the tournament's nominated times or dates.
THE VENUE & PUBLIC TRANSPORT ARRANGEMENTS
Featuring some of the toughest and most picturesque holes on the Cooks Peninsula, The Royal and Ancient Marrickville Old Course will again host The Championship. With the anticipated large crowds, players should access the course via Magnolia Drive (formerly Wharf Road).
For spectators, a park and ride bus service leaves Earlwood every 20 minutes from outside the Coles supermarket car park. Sydney Ferries also operate a single jet cat service to the R&A from Circular Quay. The Lady Fatcat departs Wharf 3 at 11.00am and arrives at the Man O' Golf steps, adjacent to the first tee, at 11.40am. At low tide, the service terminates at what locals refer to as the Tempe Taj Mahal, the Newtown Jets Sports Club, from where passengers can enjoy a leisurely stroll to the course along the rejuvenated Cooks River foreshores.