The ESG&EC proudly endorses the following products for their therapeutic and social cohesion values ..

ROUND 10 NEWS, GAMES AND STARTS

"LORD LUCAN" RETURNS
FOR WORLD SERIES XXIV

Earlwood, April 2012.  Big Jack Daley, the ESG&EC's own Lord Lucan, has applied to return to tournament play at this year's World Series.  Daley last played on the Central Coast in 2005 and, in the interim, many wild rumours surfaced to explain his absence.

As part of the club's due diligence, Daley denied that he 1. no longer drank Resch's draught, 2. played a part in rehabilitating Tiger Wood, and 3. had undergone gender reassignment surgery in Samoa.

ESG&EC President Davidson Love said Daley had been very candid in his responses.  "Jack acknowledged that he'd been in a very dark place when he went to Samoa.  It was very fortunate, now that he's sought readmittance to the tour, that their Medicare system could not afford to remove his enormous genitalia - the operation would have blown the island's health budget for the entire year."

DAILY TELE LAUNCHES
TACK ATTACK

Burwood, March 2012.  Respected ESG&EC member and solicitor, Tack Nicklaus, was the subject of a scathing attack by the Murdoch sports journalist, Andrew Webster.  Mr Webster claimed that the words used by Nicklaus, in the defence of his client, Robert Lui Stevenson, in Burwood Court " .. made you want to vomit."

Colleagues and friends of Nicklaus were quick to take up the theme.  Lady Morisset, a prominent member of Lake Macquarie high society, states, "When I first cohabitated with Tack, everyday I woke up and looked at him I just wanted to heave.  The nausea fades with time but it really never goes away."

Tack's World Series roomie, Blue Sheedy, supports Lady M's theory.  "I've got a strong stomach but it took 6 tours for that crook feeling, when you look at him in the morning, to fade."

ENTRY FEE AND
ACCOMMODATION COSTS
FOR 2012 WORLD SERIES

The tournament budget for this May's World Series XXIV has been unveiled by President Love.

The entry fee is $350 which includes all green fees, carts for all courses except Shelley Beach, bistro lunch at Wyong, shirts & hats, golf and euchre prize money, trophy, presentation lunch and drinks at Shelley Beach.

For those staying at the Costa Plenti penthouses, the 5 star accommodation for the week will set you back a modest $350.

Players are requested to send their dues directly to President Love's Cayman Island account.

SYNDICATE FAMILY DAY
AT CALLALLIN LODGE

Luddenham, January 2012.  Team Callaughan graciously hosted a tour of Callallin Lodge for Smoke Da Greyhound syndicate members and their families.  Guests were given VIP access to all areas, even spending time getting sneezed on by the "kennel" pony.

At days end, the Callaughan's were surprised to be awarded accreditation standard Canine ISO 00001, the ESG&EC's highest standard available for kennels.  The accreditation recognises quality in accommodation, feed, spatial awareness, animal handling and swimming pools.

Video clips of the day can be viewed from the New Pups area of the web site.

NRL & AFL TIPPING
COMPETITIONS NEED YOU!

Earlwood, January 2012.  Tipsters of all skill levels, especially patsies, are invited to participate in the ESG&EC's 2012 tipping competitions.

As well as the regular NRL competition, this year the club is introducing an AFL competition for people with an alternative lifestyle.  Both competitions carry an $80 entry fee which must be paid prior to the start of the respective seasons - NRL March 1st and AFL a few weeks later, March 29th.

Detailed rules and guidelines pages can be viewed in the NRL and AFL areas of this web site.  Profits go to assisting the club's many underachieving golf and euchre players.

CHAMPION GREYHOUND
PUPS FOR SALE

Earlwood, December 2011.  Join in Earlwood's most successful Ponzi scheme (est. 1995) by purchasing a pup from the ESG&EC affiliated Smoke Da Greyhond Syndicate.

The surviving 9 dog litter is by Dyna Lachlan out of Smoke Da Tubby and can be viewed at the Callallin Lodge kennels, Luddenham.  Dyna Lachlan ia a multiple Group 1 winner and "Tubby" is a Wentworth Park winner.

The asking price is a modest $2400 and all enquiries can be directed to the syndicate manager and accredited Ponzi Master, Notah Kelly III.

MATCH PLAY TITLE STOLEN
BY BANKSTOWN BOVVER BOY

Marrickville, November 2011.  The 2011 Match Play Champion is Henney Stenson.  He defeated Tubby Waldorf 3 & 1 in front of a healthy and distinctly pro-Tubby crowd.

ESG&EC officials were forced to physically defend themselves from an angry membership after Stenson's victory erased an unwritten rule from the club's statutes.  The resignation of long-time handicapper, Professor Dick Shearman, did little to appease the blood lust of enraged spectators.

The mob were finally placated when President Love commissioned the Fatcatsson Review to look at the ESG&EC business model.  The findings of the review can be read in the folklore area of the club's web site.

SMOKE DA TUBBY'S
LITTER OF 10

Luddenham, October 2011.  The ESG&EC's Smoke Da greyhound syndicate is pleased to announce that our little champion, Smoke Da Tubby, gave birth to 10 pups over the weekend.

The brood of 3 dogs and 7 bitches was sired by Dyna Lachlan which raced 47 times for 25 wins (two Group ones and metropolitan victories at Angle Park, Sandown, Wentworth Park and Albion Park) and 11 placings.

A visit to the Callaughan kennel is being organised to say "hello" to the children and "well done" to mum.

Sportsfans,

Two things to note - we have an early cut-off this week with the double header being played in Brisbane - 7.00pm Friday.  And I will be playing in the club's World Series of Golf from Sunday, 13th May through to the following weekend.  The usual summary will be done this weekend but the results will not be posted until my return.  I hope to be able to send you a reminder e-mail on the Wednesday for Round 11 but, if not, the games and starts will be available when you log-in.

Everybody's back in for FootyTAB Knockout No.2 - you must select at least 2 winners to stay alive.

Select 6 scratch and 4 FootyTAB winners from the following 7 games:

The on-line cut-off is 7.00pm Friday.  Tipsters who miss this important cut-off can still e-mail late selections to me up until the start of Saturday's first game (5.35pm) but they can only lodge 9 selections, 5 scratch and 4 FootyTAB, chosen from the remaining, unplayed games.

To lodge your tips, go to the rugby league area of our web site (www.esgec.org/nrl/nrlrules.htm), choose "log in", type in your username and password and the games and starts should be displayed under your name.  When you have made the required number of selections, the submit button will become available.  Press it, a new screen will appear with a message saying your tips are on the way to our database.  You will also receive an almost immediate e-mail confirmation of your selections.

In the unlikely event of a site malfunction, tipsters can lodge tips by e-mail to this address but they still must be received by me before the cut-off.

Good luck,
Fatcat.